In Conversation with Art Psychotherapist & Sexologist Edie Bartley on intimacy, connecting with your sensuality and micro pleasures
On creativity and career…
Can you tell us a little about your journey into becoming a sexologist and art therapist?
I knew I always wanted to pursue something creative, and when I combined my love of art with my curiosity around the inner workings of humans and our emotional / psychological worlds, I stumbled upon art therapy (I quite literally did stumble upon an art therapy open day in the small town I grew up in, and found myself enrolling in the degree that same day) Throughout the 3 year degree I began exploring my own sexuality, my body, my cycle and my psychology. I entered the world of birth work as a Doula, and I began to develop a curiosity for all things taboo. I’m a very sensitive person, and have been since I was a kid, so I could feel the undercurrent to things, and knew that sex wasn't something we were supposed to talk about. I found that I wanted to talk about it, I had questions, and my 3 year psychotherapy degree did not offer a single module on sexuality. In 2020 I was completing the degree, my thesis topic was Menstrual Shame. I found myself down a research rabbit hole on the ways in which early experiences of shame relates to the body, gender, and menstruation impact ones sexual decision making and sexuality later in life. It wasn’t my topic of study, but it sparked something in me that I knew I had to pursue further. I’m the kind of person where when an idea drops in I simply cannot swerve, I have to follow it through! So I enrolled in a sexology degree straight after graduation.
What role does creativity play in your work?
Creativity is the foundation of my work, it is the bread and butter. The reason I pursued art therapy is because of my deep connection to creativity and the arts, and my belief that certain experiences in life can be processed and integrated through guided creativity in a way that talking cannot achieve. It plays a role in the material of my work, but it also plays a role in how I practice, in my use of language, metaphor, imagery.
Outside of your roles, what does creativity look like for you?
My creative practice is what I turn to for connection. When I’m feeling a little bit unsettled, ungrounded or out of connection with myself, I usually find a writing, drawing, painting or movement practice brings me home. Creativity for me also looks like cooking, writing my (very inconsistent) newsletter, designing cosy corners in my home, changing my style and the way I dress, telling stories and engaging in creative events in my local community.
Where do you turn when you are seeking inspiration?
Meditation or time alone, preferably in nature. I find I need stillness, quiet, and a change of environment. Sometimes being in connection with friends or family who bring me into a state of play, also brings creative inspiration. Once the inspiration hits and the project is underway, I often need to bounce ideas off someone, I love a collaboration.
On connecting to self and intimacy…
Finding you and your work I was so interested in how you speak to micro pleasures, can you give us some examples of what these might look like in our day to day?
Micro pleasures are the art of switching your focus to your senses, to the present moment and to the erotic. Micro pleasures can be found in the mundane; from hands deep in the washing powder, fresh sheets on the bed, to stirring a pot on the stove. It can be found in the moments that pass us by; the sun shining on your face, the smell after the rain, the sensation of your hot shower in the morning, or your first sip of coffee. It can also be moments of touch, or intimacy, or stimulation that would normally be gone in a flash, unless you remember to relish in them.
For those unfamiliar, what is self-regulation and how can we practice this?
Self regulation is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, behaviours and reactions. It is deeply tied to your unique nervous system response, and finding your own tools and resources that work for you.
What are your favourite tools to introduce forms of intimacy after birth and during postpartum?
Approaching each other with a blank canvas, like its your first night together. Go slow, go gently, and learn the language of each others bodies all over again.
Massage is a beautiful tool for the early stages of connection, to bring in intimacy that it not goal oriented or necessarily sexual.
A practice like eye gazing, or sensual touch, or something to really relish in the connection without moving too fast.
But above all, communication, state your needs and boundaries, listen and be patient.
What does sensuality mean to you and your favourite ways to connect with your sensual self?
To me sensuality is prioritising pleasure, sensation and expression with intention and mindfulness. Pleasure can be found in everything if we are mindful, so when we are slow, intentional, present, and experiencing things through our body, we are connected to our sensuality.
Sensuality can be expressed in the way you dress, the way you speak, the way you eat, and engage with the world. It can be found in moments of connection, in moments of chaos, in moments of stillness. Connecting to ones sensuality is often the bridge between worlds when it comes to healing sexual trauma, disconnection, numbness, lack of arousal or pleasure.
On daily rhythms and rituals…
The first thing you do when you wake up?
Brush my teeth, meditate, go look at the sky and either swim in the ocean or have a shower to properly wake up. I love waking up in silence, and spending the first 30 minutes of the day in silence without looking at my phone! So if I have the day off I’ll try make that happen.
I follow an intuitive morning routine, rather than structured - so each day can look a little different.
The last thing you do before bed?
First things first, I can’t go to bed with a messy home, I always do a little tidy so I wake up to a happy house. My night time routine is pretty extensive haha, but it usually involves dim lights, soothing smells, a cup of tea, legs up the wall or some gentle stretching and a good book. I usually turn off all screens by 8.30 and prioritise something meaningful, relaxing, intimate or sensual.
Three items always found in your fridge/pantry?
@Socialalchemy hot chocolate, really good honey and farmers market produce
Rituals that ground you?
Time spent in nature, abhyanga / self massage before a hot shower, pottering around at home on a day off, dry brushing, gua sha, art therapy practices, tea ceremony, gathering with women, nights spent alone with candles lit, music playing, stretching on the floor or reading a good book
An artist or album you always return to?
My music taste is wildly diverse, but one artist / album I always seem to come back to is James Blake - The colour in anything
To learn more about Edie you can visit her website here
