In Conversation with Jessica D’abadie
For this In Conversation we get a candid look behind the scenes with Jessica D’abadie, situated in the creative hub of the Northern Rivers, Jessica is the co-founder of interior design studio We Are Triibe and most recently Milk, a brand anchored to supporting mothers on their breastfeeding journeys. As Jessica prepares to welcome her next babe we offer a moment of reflection, asking about the gestures that left an impact in previous postpartums and the words of advice she would give her past self with the benefit of hindsight. We explore the ebb and flow of approaches to navigating paid work, the birth of Milk and the unattainable concept of balance as a working mother and the notions that create a sense of ease.
On creativity, career pursuits & motherhood...
Can you share with us a little bit about yourself, your family & where you are based?
I live in the Northern Rivers of NSW in a town called Mullumbimby, it’s in the hinterland of Byron Bay and we live on a property surrounded by fruit trees and bush. I live here with my husband Josh, two sons and one more babe on the way!
How has your approach & relationship to your work evolved and adapted since transitioning into motherhood?
It’s changed a lot, I think at first when we had our first son I thought I could just do it all, go back to work like normal and do 5 days a week, but I reached about a year in with that mentality and got absolutely burnt out. When our second son was born I took more maternity leave and dropped down to 3 days of work after that and I think it really saved my mental state to surrender to that. Now that they are a little bit older I work 4 days a week but I’m more flexible with my hours and I’m not as hard on myself. I realised quite quickly through the journey into motherhood that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Your most recent venture is Milk, filling a gap in the space for practical, sustainability focused and well designed intimates for mothers, can you speak to how the brand evolved from inception to where you are now?
It’s funny how motherhood can shape you, I’m actually an interior designer and run a company called We Are Triibe. During breastfeeding my first son Solomon I would just leak milk all over the place. I would be up at night googling “leak proof bra” or “milk absorbing bra” and there was absolutely nothing out there, so I decided along with a friend who had the same problem as me - to invent a leakproof bra and we patented it. About a year in we decided to rope in my other business partner who I have had a 13-year interior design business with, and now Milk is in it’s second year of business and has now grown so much.
What has gotten you through the more challenging periods navigating motherhood alongside a career?
I often say that balance as a mother is unattainable… on the weeks where I feel like I’m killing it in my career, I feel like I’m not as a mother, and vice versa - on the days where I’m at school first and picking up my kids and taking them on a creek adventure or something fun, and feel like motherhood is just so fulfilling, the businesses slide. I’ve learnt that you can’t do it all well all the time, and I’ve actually gotten comfortable with the ebbs and flows, I just try to keep them from being too extreme.
Where do you turn when seeking inspiration?
I live in such a beautiful part of the world, and often if I need inspiration I know what I need most is some time out and time in nature to reconnect to myself. I find stilling my mind is the best way for me to create space to generate new ideas or to get clarity on ideas already floating around. So it might look like me in the vege patch, me cooking in the kitchen or spending time in my art studio painting or making pottery that brings me the most authentic inspiration.
On community & connection...
What does community look like to you? To me, it looks like friends and family who check in and look after one another. I have alot of people in my life who I’m so grateful for, they constantly check in with me or bring me food if we’re sick, and I try to do the same in return. It’s the little things that make a community feel so strong.
Reflecting the early days of motherhood, what acts or gestures from your community left a lasting impact?
One of my best friends delivered me a catering size portion of brownies to my house last post-partum, there was so many I ate them for a month straight. My mum also came to help for a couple of weeks and she would make me snacks and do our laundry, fold things away and be like this magical little fairy around the house. Having people like that who just care for you, and check in on you is something I really cherish.
Words of wisdom you would go back and tell your past self whilst in the thick of early motherhood?
Hmm.. there’s so much. But I would probably tell myself to not overthink it, to trust my instincts more. I’d tell myself that there’s so many things that people tell you you need when you have your first child and it’s just not true.. you actually don’t need much at all. I would tell myself to surrender more, sleep more, not to stress as much.. that everything will be fine, and it’s all just a season and it will pass quicker than you could ever imagine.
What does connecting to yourself look like alongside mothering?
Quiet moments to myself or with my husband are definitely important to me, but more than that, being present in each micro-moment of the day - especially with the kids around brings me so much gratitude.
When we are so busy going a hundred miles an hour in our lives with kids we can forget to just pause. I often remind myself to just slow it down, I love to pause when my kids grab my arm to look at the flowers or the bugs - it’s the little things that can help me to connect back to myself too and often my boys just remind me just how incredible everything is.
On daily rhythms & rituals...
When and where are you happiest?
I’m happiest at home, with my family, outside in nature or cuddling in bed all together.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I don’t know if I have any great extravagances, but if I’d pick one it’s probably our home, we pour alot of time and money into our property and our house. We’re building this year too!
The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Cuddle my kids
Daily rituals that are a constant of late?
Afternoon creek swims to cool off in the heat and baking sourdough.
Words or a motto you often return to?
I often remind myself that everything as it is right now is already everything I need
You can follow Jessica's journey and creative pursuits below
